Dear Nurse Ansalong:
My friend, we'll call her "Ann", has been friends with my other friend "John" for quite awhile. We are all close to each other. But lately, her feelings for "John" have become romantic, and she has now fallen for him hard. She has had a lot of bad relationships, and "John" would probably treat her right. Unfortunately, "John" sees her as only a good friend and nothing more. I also fear that "Ann" is suicidal, because she said if she got "John" "life would be worth living". What should I do?
-Worried

Worried, there are some people who have very easy lives. They go through their existence with very little problems and are blissfully happy. But, for the most part, life for the normal person is a very hard thing to survive. One way that helps to survive the biggest problems is to have the help of a friend. As concerned as you sound, it would appear that you are a very good friend to her. One thing that I would advice you to be careful about is whether "Ann" is suicidal or not. Just because she says that her "life would be worth living" with "John" doesn't guarentee that she would do something bad to herself if he didn't love her. If you want to help them to start a relationship, then you might want to try to find ways to get them together. If they have a shared interest, then try and get both of them involved and talking to each other. By getting them to interact more, "John's" feelings towards "Ann" might change. While you do this, please be prepared if "John's" feelings don't change towards "Ann". If this happens, "Ann" might need someone to be there for her and to help her through this part of her life. Make sure that she knows that you will always be there for her, no matter what happens. When a person is feeling extremely depressed, sometimes the best thing to have is a friend. Also, you might want to talk to "Ann" about her need for a relationship. You should never base your entire life on whether one person loves you. She needs to find a love for herself, so she doesn't try and fill that void with the possible love of an outside figure. An inner love of one's self is a very important thing to have, especially if, like "Ann", the person hasn't been lucky with relationships. I hope that, whatever happens to her, "Ann" will be happy with her life and how she lives it.

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