Dear Nurse Ansalong:
A few weeks ago, I was downtown with 2 of my friends. One of them, a guy, asked me to go with him to his house for a little while, so I did. We were in his room fooling around, nothing serious, just kissing & stuff. I have grown to really love this guy. Anyway, in the car on the way home, I found out he has a girlfriend. I felt bad for doing this with him if he had a girlfriend, but I really love him now and I think he has feelings for me too. My friends tell me, if he does this to another girl, how do I know he won't do it to me. But when he and his girlfriend break up, I want to go for him because I love him so much. What do i do?
-Sarah

Sarah, there are times that having feelings can be the worse thing in the world. Your mind tells you the safe way to go, but you're feelings always seems to pull you into the heart of danger. In your case, I'd advice you that, if you do start to go out with him, then be careful. If he did this with you, what is there to stop him from doing it with someone else while the two of you are dating? You already know that he has done it once, and while there is no guarentee that he'll do it again, there will always be that idea in your mind. Also, please remember that there is a big difference between love and lust. You might have feelings of love for him, but it doesn't sound like you're sure about what his feelings for you are. If they are feelings of love, then your relationship might stand a chance of succeeding. But, you should also be prepared if his feelings wind up not coming from the heart. I would also advice to you to keep a "hands-off" approach to him until he breaks up with his current girlfriend. You could have some major problems if it looks like you're the "other woman". When it comes to matters of the heart, I always wish that everyone's dreams could be fulfilled. I hope that your dreams of love come true, but please remember that sometimes the reality of the situation or the people involved makes it impossible.

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