Dear Nurse Ansalong:
I've been best friends with this guy for a long time. Recently, I've started hanging out with a girl, Jenn. The problem is that they hate each other and Mike says that Jenn's a really bad influence on me. While the two of them were having an argument, my name came up and Jenn told me that Mike said that he couldn't care less about my feelings and no longer wanted to be friends. Mike and I had always had a special bond but things between us had been getting rough lately. When I confronted him he denied saying anything and claiming that Jenn had made the whole thing up. I don't want to lose either of them and I don't know who to believe. What should I do???
-Tara

Tara, there are times when you need to listen to your mind. When there are easy questions between right and wrong, your mind has an easy time deciding the right answer. In the situation that you are in, it won't be that easy to decide what to do. It's at times like this that I tell my friends to "always listen to their hearts". You have strong feelings for both of your friends, and you can use these to help you. I would advice a "cooling off period" for everyone involved. This will give everyone some time to get calm and start to think a little clearer. After this, talk to both friends and listen to what they have to say about the arguement. This is when your feelings will come into play. You know the two of them and you probably have an idea how they would react in a situation. If either one is lying, your feelings will tell you. You'll hear something that just doesn't sound like something that he or she would do and that feeling will help to tip you off. There is something to remember about friendship; sometimes it doesn't last. I had a friend in high school that I thought was my best friend. She and I went everywhere together and did it all. After we graduated, we talked a couple times during the summer and then she disappeared from my life. Since then, I've seen her twice, and both times all we said was hello and then went our separate ways. There are friendships that last forever, but more often than not, they last a short and finite amount of time. Also, friends who spend a lot of time together can, sometimes, want to see other people. This doesn't mean that they don't want to be friends. It just means that they need to spend some time with different people from time to time. Before you make any decisions, give both of your friends a chance. What you might be experiencing is a very large misunderstanding.

  • Send in a letter to Nurse Ansalong
  • Read Past Advice Columns
  • Read Advice Disclaimer
  • Cosmo's Factory Main Screen

    All WWW pages and Perl Scripts - Copyright © 1999 Cosmo's Factory All Rights Reserved