Dear Nurse Ansalong:
I had been with my ex for 3 years. We were planning on getting married,high school sweethearts, the whole bit. Then last month, on my birthday, and our anniversary, he called me upset admitting to me he cheated on me 4 months prior and the 17 year old girl (he is 20) came to him telling him she was pregnant. This also recently became a long distance relationship with plans to move closer. Needless to say, we broke up, but he is my first and only love. I'm deeply depressed on the subject and don't know how to get over it. Any ideas?
-BB
BB, in everyone's life, there will be that one romance that will break our hearts when it fails. It could be your 20th boyfriend, but breaking up with him will feel like your heart is being ripped out. This just makes it even harder to move on because the pain and hurting still feels so fresh to you. The main advice that I can give you is to take your time. Right now, you're still stinging from everything that just happened. Give your heart a little time to heal the scar that he left on it. This time will allow you to feel more comfortable when you re-enter the dating world and hopefuly make it easier for you in the long run. Also, when you do start to date again, try to not dwell on the feelings from your past relationship. While you should learn from what happened and try to not repeat those same mistakes, don't let those emotions get in the way of possibly something special. Hurt, especially of the romantic variety, has been known to play havoc on the lives and minds of people that let it. Like I said, learn from the past but don't dwell in those feelings or you might find yourself stuck. It's not an easy thing to move on after being hurt in the way that you were. This being your first love just adds to the amount of hurt. Give it a little time to heal and try not to dwell in the feelings of the past and I think that you'll be on the right track. Good luck!
