Liz, feelings can definately be a problem at times like this. No matter what you try and do, it probably always feel like you're on the verge of just grabbing her and planting, as my male friend says, "a big wet one" on your friend.

The first thing that I'd say to you is that you need to try and calm down. It won't do you any good to get yourself so agitated that you feel like you'll explode if you get in the same room as your friend. If you start feeling the nerves kick in while you're with her, try some deep breathing to slow your heart rate down. Also, you could always try to think about other things to distract your mind from the problem.

Once you've gotten a little more calm with your friend, you might want to try to find out what she's thinking. She is telling you that she's now totally straight and is interested in men, but there could still be some old feelings deep down that are waiting to come out. When you talk to her, try and talk with her about the things that you used to talk about in the past. Be sure to avoid any questions that will make her feel like you're trying to nudge her towards something. Let the conversation flow to wherever it goes and see what you learn from her responses.

While you're having these talks, be sure to be prepared for the possibility that she has made her decision and doesn't want to go back. It might be the thing that you really don't want to hear right now, but be ready for the chance that it comes. Because there is a definate chance that it can and will be where the conversation winds up.

So, try to do some things to stay calm around your ex and see what you learn from your talks and that way you'll find out what her thoughts are. Be prepared to hear something that you don't want to, but please remember that, while she might not want to date you, she could and would like to stay your friend.