Columbia, that's a lot of exclamation marks for a very shy girl. ; ) But I digress...

One of the hardest periods for a lot of people is their "first love". This might be the first person they go out with or it could be the 300th. Either way, there are feelings that are stirred up that can seriously stress out and confuse even the most levelheaded person. If you're as shy as you sound, it probably makes you feel totally scared and confused whenever you try to tell your boyfriend how you feel.

Well, my first bit of advice to you is to calm down. If the situation is as you've explained, there is the extremely likely possibility that your "significant other" is feeling exactly the same way as you. The two of you are trying to communicate, but your combined shyness is building a wall between you two.

One thing that I would definately tell the both of you is to not panic and think that one conversation or missed statement will destroy everything. A relationship is made up of many moments, be they great, strange, awkward, or any other combinations. Unless one of you is already starting to turn away from the relationship, it would take more than a period of not talking to kill the relationship.

To help bring the conversation back to the relationship, you might want to try using what brought the two of you together in the first place. This could be a favorite hobby, a school subject, favorite local hangout, or even a favorite film. Whatever it is that brought you two together could help both of you to relax enough to feel comfortable and start to talk like you used to. Also, whenever the conversation starts, try to let it flow organically. Don't push your boyfriend into a conversation that he might not be ready for. Remember that a baby doesn't come out of the womb running. He has to learn to crawl, then walk, and then finally to run. By letting your boyfriend crawl a little, it could help to make him feel comfortable enough to think about running.

I really don't have any advice for whether or not you're actually in love with him or not. Your feelings probably feel like they are spinning around in a blender and it's hard to make definate decision which way you feel. But, if he means as much as you seem to be letting on in your email, then it sounds like your feelings are strong. Don't panic, give him a chance to get comfortable, and try to be there for him when he needs it and the two of you might come out of it okay.