Dear Nurse Ansalong:
I am really shy. It's hard for me to just go up to someone and start talking to them. How can I over come this "problem" or what is another way to talk to people?
-Frannie

Frannie, one of the main things to remember is that you're not alone in these feelings. Even though many people won't admit to it, nearly everyone has felt an extreme case of shyness appear, for one reason or another. You can include me in this list also. Back when I was younger, I could never talk to any guy that I found attractive without loosing all control of my neck muscles. I'd constantly turn my head so that I wouldn't have to look him directly in the eye and I would constantly be blushing for the entire time. I'm surprised that my entire high school class didn't think I was an idiot from the way that I would carry on a conversation.

There are a few things that helped me to learn to be less shy that might help you...

1) Don't treat every conversation like it's life or death - Even though it might feel that way, try to remember that it's just a conversation. If it doesn't go the way that you want it to, then except it and remember that you'll get another chance to do better.

2) Try to keep your breathing under control - One of the main factors that sets off most of the other nervous reactions is breathing. If you're breathing starts to get short and frantic, it will increase your heart rate, which will jump start the nervous system of your body and cause everything from blushing to your hands shaking uncontrollably. Try to take long normal breaths during the times that you talk to people and it will help.

3) Try to talk about things that you know - When you enter into the conversation, try to talk about things that you know and feel comfortable with. That way, you'll feel relaxed at the start and be able to ease into a long talk with the other person. If the conversation wanders off into other areas, it'll be easy to handle since you've already got yourself comfortable with the conversation.

Like I said, these 3 points helped me to get over my shyness, and I think that they could help you too. Give it some time to work and see what happens. Good luck! ; )

  • Send in a letter to Nurse Ansalong
  • Read Past Advice Columns
  • Read Advice Disclaimer
  • Cosmo's Factory Main Screen

    All WWW pages and Perl Scripts - Copyright © 1999 Cosmo's Factory All Rights Reserved. *Except where noted.