Dear Nurse Ansalong:
I'm 17 years old, gay, and I have cheated on my boyfriend. We have been seeing each other for sometime now. I love him with all of my heart, and I know he feels the same way. I recently moved to a larger city, about 5 miles away from him. I guess I was kind of lonely one night and I went out dancing and met someone. Well, one thing led to another, and we had sex. My boyfriend is totally faithful. He even called me when some guy kissed him while he was drunk. I feel so guilty. I can't imagine what I was thinking. What do I do? I still want to be with my boyfriend, but I can't tell him because he might break it off.
-Unfaithful

Unfaithful, secrets are a hard thing to have, especially the one that you now have. Some, like your locker combination, are easy to keep. The one that you have is the kind that tends to eat people up inside. If you or anyone else who knows doesn't tell your boyfriend what happened, then he will never know about it. Your relationship will go on and maybe last for a long time. But, there might be a little itch at the back of your throat everytime he tells you how faithful he's being. Over time, that itch might slowly grow larger and larger, until you can barely keep it down. If you can live with this and with the knowledge of what you've done, then don't tell him. From the way that you sound, that might not be a possibility. One of the cornerstones of a relationship that will last is honesty. He showed you how honest he is by calling you to tell you about the man who kissed him. Shouldn't he deserve the same from you? It might be the hardest thing you've ever had to do in your life, but I would advice you to tell him. If you are truely feeling guilty, then he will know it. If or when you tell him, do it in person so that he can see how you are feeling. This is not an easy thing to have to do. Your boyfriend obviously meens a lot to you and you would never want to purposely do anything to hurt him. But, holding back even a partial truth, can work it's way through you and into your relationship, destroying everything in it's path. I wish you all of the luck in the world, whichever path you choose to take.

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