Dear Nurse Ansalong:
Two weeks ago, I picked up this guy at ROCKY HORROR, and we immediately hit it off. At first, we were just friends because I thought he was gay. Then he revealed to me that he was bi and our relationship got much less platonic. There are a few problems. We have completely conflicting belief systems, which is okay in a friendship, but detracts from the unity of a couple. Also he has a habit of saying stupid offensive things, causing all my friends to dislike him, and I cannot really defend him when they insult him. I never wanted to SAY we were "going out" to begin with, but he says what we have constitutes a serious relationship. I am the first girl he has loved or slept with. He is really sweet to me, but mean to basically all other people. Where do I go from here?
-Death

Death, what you should probably do is sit down with this guy and try to figure out what is going on in your relationship. It seems, from what you've described, that the two of you have differing views on what exactly is going on between the two of you. It also doesn't seem to help that he appears to be going out of his way to offend all of your friends. The differences in belief systems is usually something that is more workable than others, but, depending on the personalities of the people in the relationship, it could cause unessescary friction.

When you sit down to talk with him, make sure that he understands what it is that you're feeling for him. As you talk to him, try to go through all of the problem points that you listed in your post and explain fully why these things are causing problems. Be sure that you give him more than enough time to respond to everything that you have to say and that he knows how you feel about him and what he's done. Give him a chance to explain what is going on and then see how you're feeling towards him. If there's a middle ground that the two of you can find, then it could appear during the talk. If not, then it might be up to you to decide on where the relationship goes next or if it continues at all.

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