Dear Nurse Ansalong:
The lyrics of "Sweet Transvestite" were running through my mind and I thought of a question: who, exactly, was the Candyman? Was Riff Raff maybe expecting a visit from Sammy Davis Jr? Was Willy Wonka originally to have been among the Transylvanians? Or was "Candyman" just a slang term for a drug provider (i.e. Eddie)? Actually, wouldn't Willy Wonka have been a welcome addition to the castle staff? His "Wonkavator", with its unconventional sideways/diagonal motion ability, could have resolved problems with the castle floorplan -- *and* he could have provided delicious treats to go along with dinner. Maybe in a remake...?
-Kevin Kjurios

Kevin, I think we all know the answer, but I wanted to post this because I thought it was damn funny. Personally, I like the "Wonkavator" idea, but I don't think the Oompa Loompas would be very good at doing the Time Warp... :)

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