Dear Nurse Ansalong:
Just over a month ago, I was quite inebriated at a party and made out (et cetera) with a male friend of mine who was also inebriated. I had fun at the time, and we never really spoke about it, but avoided the topic. Now, after an awkward spell, we are friends again. My problem? Now, after assuring myself that there was nothing between us, and telling this to all my friends, I have developped quite the crush on this boy. There are fleeting moments where I think he likes me, but he's pretty shy, so I don't know what to do. Please help aleviate my angst.
-A Frankie Fan

Fan, if I had to count all of the times that I've had to advise my friends that got in "trouble" while they were drinking, I wouldn't have anything else to do in the day except count. That being said... One of the main things about alchohol is that it's what is called a surpresant (sp?). Basically, the alchohol reacts with your system and surpresses many normal functions, like emotions. The important thing in your case is that the alchohol doesn't choose which emotion or idea to surpress. The events that happened that night could have been your true feelings, be they love or lust, for this boy coming out in the open because what usually surpresses them is being held back by the alchohol.

The question of what your true feelings are and what came out the night could be a mystery, but, if you do have any emotions for this person, you should try to see if he is now feeling the same. If he's as shy as you mentioned, then he might be nervous or embarassed about what he did with you that night. Try to see if a trusted mutual friend has any knowledge about how he's feeling. This could give you a little inside information without making him anymore shy than he already is. Also, if the two of you are "friends again", you could always try to talk about if he's interested in someone by slipping it into the casual conversation. You don't have to walk right up to him and ask if he's dating anyone. Just start talking about general stuff and try to slide it into the conversation. If he starts to react bad, then move onto something else. You might find out what his feelings are through a little small talk.

Whatever you do, try to be a little gentle at first. If he's shy, an intimate question from anyone could send him back into his shell. Give it a little time and I think that you'll get your answer.

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