Dear Nurse Ansalong:
I recently started having sex for the first time and had it with someone I care for very much. We have been the best of friends for a year, and got serious with each other about 2 months ago and it was wonderful. To both our horror, our plans were to be changed. He has recently had to leave to live in another state for a few years. We are keeping our relationship long distance with e-mail and ICQ and phone when we can. We talk every night for hours like we used to. I have a problem now. When I had sex with him, I really didn't think it was that great. Now I want to see what it's like with other people, to see if it's really as great as they say it is. I don't want any other relationships, just one night stands. What do I do? I don't want to hurt my boyfriend, but my curiosity is getting the better of me.
-Janet

Janet, it could be hard, but you need to ask yourself a question; Do I love my boyfriend? If the answer is "Yes", then I would tell you to stay monogomous with him. While he's away, his mind could be filled of thoughts of his feelings and longings for you. He could be saving himself, waiting to return to you. If you let your curiosity get the better of you, then all of those feelings that the two of you have shared and all of the promises that you've made to each other would be for nothing. Also, by saying that you want just "one night stands", that tends to negate one of the most amazing parts of sex; When you share both the physical and emotional parts of yourself. If you just want to have sex to get the physical pleasure out of it, then you're not getting the complete experience and, in my opinion, missing out on an important part. Also, if you didn't find the sexual experience with him to be as pleasureable as you wanted, there is room for the two of you to be creative. While he's away, think about different things that you would find pleasurable. When he comes back to visit, talk with him about what you've been thinking and see what he is willing to do. If the relationship that you've started with this man is important to you, then I would tell you to try to find different ways to work out all of the energy that you want to experience.

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