Dear Nurse Ansalong:
I'm a guy and I've developed a strong attraction to another guy in a class of mine. I didn't even know I could be attracted to guys before now, but that's not the problem. I'm almost positive he's straight. I would just tell myself to forget about it and almost did, until yesterday. I don't really believe in signs, but yesterday was way too wierd. Me and a friend went to a mall 2 hours away from where we live and of the hundreds of people I know, we see him. It was kind of like I was expecting to see him too, for some reason. It's weird, but me and my friend were saying that we'd probably see someone gay since she's got a lot of gay friends and we seem to see one of them everytime we go out somewhere. Not only do we see him, but my friend was relating a story to me which ended in "... GAY LOVERS" (those were the words she said) and boom! I turn a corner and he almost runs into me. I'm sure he heard my friend. We said hi to each other, but I was probably beet red. Also, later we saw him in a restaurant and he was sitting at a table, directly under a rainbow ( the gay pride symbol) painted on the wall. Then, my friend actually won, unexpectledly, the single to his very most favorite song that he talks about all the time! See, all this just makes me think about him more. I feel like somebody's trying to tell me something. I can't get past how much of a coincidence it all is. I'm NOT open about this so I would NEVER tell him. I feel so stupid and upset and frustrated. What should I do?
-Wanting Sanity

Sanity, I would first advice you to take a deep breath and relax. The idea that there are "signs" that show us what our true feelings are what is the truth are very questionable at best. How many times have we heard about an image of The Virgin Mary appearing on someone's refridgerator in Montana? It doesn't discount the fact that a shape that looks like The Virgin Mary is there, but it could look like something totally different to two seperate people. Seeing things like you have could have triggered a response in your mind but the actual truth could be the opposite of what you think. It's okay to be attracted to another member of the same sex. If you don't do anything about it, your life will go on. If it's the feelings that you are having that are the most confusing for you, you might want to talk to a counselor about the problems. But please don't let what has happened cause you any pain. Our brains can be triggered by what we see to react in all kinds of different ways. When you add in the emotions to this equation, the level of confusion could quickly escalate. Give yourself a little time for your feelings to settle down and I think that you'll be alright.

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