Dear Nurse Ansalong:
There is this guy that I really like. The only problem is that he is fickle. One minute I am the only thing he can think about, and the next it is like I am not even there. Another thing is that we used to date and we were each other's first. We still care for each other. I really want to ask him out, but am afraid of rejection. What should I do?
-Elina
Elina, everyone gets rejected during their lives. It could be when they ask someone out on a date or about a new job or whatever else you can think of. This continual chance of rejection tends to hang like a cloud over everything. I've been rejected countless times for many different reasons when it comes to dating but the thing that you need to remember is to not be too afraid to try. If you're fear gets too great, then you'll never ask anyone out ever again. The fact that he was your "first" is probably adding even more undo stress upon you. Many people, including myself, feel a bond with the person that we had sex with for the first time, even after we've gone our seperate ways. Until you're comfortable again, you could try to ask him out in a way that doesn't seem like a date. If you need to go clothes shopping at the local mall, ask him to come along to help you decide what to buy. This way, you'll be out together, spending time and talking about whatever. His fickleness is something that could change over time. At the point that he's at right now, he might not be ready to settle down with just one person or he might not be sure that you are the right person for him. The more time that you spend with him, the more that you'll be able to focus his attention towards you. Like everything in life, there's a chance that the relationship could fail, but, if you don't give it the chance, then you'll never know what could have happened.
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