Dear Nurse Ansalong:
My parents got divorced 2 years ago and my grandfather killed himself last October. My Mom is now just crying and being upset about it. I don't know what to do. When she cries it makes me cry. She always says mean things about my dad and it hurts because I love him. I have asked her not to but she says, "No one's perfect. I'm sorry if I can't be. Would you like a different mother?" and all this other stuff to make me feel bad. I am a teenager and I think I should just be having fun, chilling, going to RHPS, not worrying about my mom.
-Glor

Glor, from the way that you've described it, your Mom looks like she's having some serious feelings of rejection and lonliness right now. Some of the people that she had cared about the most in her past are gone and she might be thinking that everyone, including yourself, wants to abandon her. That could explain her lashing out at you with her comments about your Dad. She could think that you're going to leave anyway, so why should she care if she says or does something to hurt you. What you need to do is to continue to show her that you care about her. Try to not let her know how her comments are making you feel.I know this sounds like an impossible feat, but if she starts to think that her comments don't hurt you anymore, this may get her to stop them all together. This could be very difficult, but you might want to try to get your Mom to get some professional counseling. There might be feelings and emotions that are trapped deep down inside her that, with a little help from someone with experience, could be let out and dealt with. If she seems scared to go, offer to go with her and to help support her throughout the sessions. There is one thing that you need to remember; healing takes time. If your Mom's pain is as deep as it sounds from your description, it could take a little time to get rid of all of her deamons. I do hope that your Mom gets better soon. Here's a big hug from me and, if you have any more questions, feel free to send it to me...

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