Dear Nurse Ansalong:
My boyfriend seems to have lost all interest in me physically. We've been together for a year and a half. We've both chosen to wait until marriage to have sex, but it seems he's not interested in anything beyond kissing anymore. He's far more affectionate in public than in private. I recently spent a weekend with him, and he always had excuses for not doing anything (He was tired, there wasn't time, etc). I feel as if I'm just not attractive to him anymore. A friend of mine who knows him suspects he may be homosexual and using me as his cover, and I'm starting to wonder if she's right. How can I discuss this with him? He attends school several hours away, and is staying up there for the summer, so talking to him in person is tough. I'm worried that if I ask him why we never do anything, I'll come off sounding like some lust-crazed person who's only interested in making out, which certainly isn't true. How can I approach this problem?
-Completely Confused

Confused, I think we've all been in your shoes, in one way or another. When someone that we really care about starts to "drift away" for whatever reason, it can be very hard for the other person to understand what's happening. You should defiantely try and talk with him about how he feels about you. If he doesn't care about you the way he used to, then it's not fair for you to be stuck waiting around for something that won't be coming. One thing that I would definately do is talk to him about this in person. If you do it face-to-face, then you'll get to see all of his reactions, not just how he would sound over the phone or how his words would read in an email. Make sure that he understands that you still do really care about him and that your feelings haven't changed from before these problems. Also, give him some time to explain what he's feeling right now. He might be just as confused as you are about what his true feelings are about your relationship. I wish that this could be easier for you, but I hope that you get the information that you really need...

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