Dear Nurse Ansalong:
My best friend is a very introverted person. We've known each other for 6 years already, and I have told her multiple times that she can confide in me whenever she wants. She knows that I care about her and that she's practically my sister, but she never talks to me about her problems. The reason this angers me is because she seems to be troubled all the time, and I hate to see my friend in any kind of pain. I know that the only person I can justifiably control is myself, but it's so frustrating to me when she tells me that she goes to psychics (complete strangers), but she doesn't open up to me. What can I do?
-Confused
Confused, I have been trapped in this position many times in my life. While I have friends that ask me for advice a lot, I also know people who don't ask for any help. The only advice that I can give you is to keep trying. Your friend probably already knows that you want to help her, so, if you keep trying, she'll know that your help is coming from the heart. One thing that you want to avoid doing is to smother your friend with help. That might make her even less likely to ask you for advice. You might want to try a sneakier way to give her advice. Instead of waiting until she really looks like she needs help, give her little pieces here and there. This way, instead of "smothering" her when she's at an emotional low, you can help her and she'll be used to your help when she really needs it. It can be hard to judge when you've helped someone enough, but, if your heart's in the right place, then keep trying and I think she'll understand.
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