Dear Nurse Ansalong:
For some reason, my best friend's mother hates me. I don't know why. I never did anything to her. My best friend thinks that her Mom blames me for my friend being into Rocky. However, we all know that she introduced Rocky to me. In addition to that, she blames me for my friend being depressed at times. I love my friend a lot. She's my best friend, after all! But it's hard to feel okay hanging out with her because I know her Mom's always telling her she doesn't want her to see me. If her Mom had her way, my friend and I would never speak another word to each other. I've tried talking to the woman, but it doesn't work. How can I convince her that I'm not a bad influence on her daughter and I only want her to do well and grow as a person (I've been in therapy to long...). I feel stuck because often times my friend is the only one who I can really talk to, and I don't, that much, because of her mom. What do I do?
-The (Wo)Man That You Fear

Fear, parents can be very closed minded sometimes. If they think that someone is hurting their children in any way, they will use any means to keep them away from it. In your case, your friend's Mother might be feeling that, for whatever reason, you are a bad influence on your friend. The Mother thinks that her child would never get interested in these things or have certain feelings unless she was being influenced by someone. Your friend's Mother might also think that, once you lose interest in her child, you'll turn around and leave her behind for someone new. Her constant put-downs also appear a try to drive a wedge between the two of you in a possible hope that you'll stop talking to each other. The main thing that I would advice you to do is to not let her come between you and your friend. To find a best friend is something very special and nothing should come between the two of you. Stick by your friend, no matter what her Mother does. Also, if you stay by your friend, it might show to her Mother just how good of a friend you actually are. If it gets too tough to be together at your friend's house, then you might need to spend more time at your house or somewhere else away from the Mother. This will give the two of you time together without your friend's Mother intruding and causing problems. It might seem like a no-win situation right now, but, over time, you might just be able to win your friend's Mother over. Whatever happens, stay with your friend and you might just prove her Mother totally wrong in the end.

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