After a wedding, Brad proposed to Janet
(In front of visitors from another planet)
Then he sang a dump song in a queer sort of way
And endorsed our beliefs that he was sure gay

Then off they went to a strange little hut
Brad the asshole and his girlfriend, the slut
But on the way there, they got stuck with a flat
(Brad the asshole who I saw fuck my cat)

Brad hated his slut; but the wimp couldn't hurt her
So off they went to see Doc Frank N. Furter
The came to a castle and saw a light on
So, of course, the slut had to break into song

Brad rang the bell, as was the plan
And was greeted by Riff-Frank's handyman
Then Janet and Brad (with his inadequate dick)
Met eyeless Magenta, a domestic

Then Riff broke into song and they danced the time warp
And Brad topped it off by being a dork
When what to their wondering eyes should appear
But Frank the transvestite, who's terribly queer

And he sang a neat song the went on his way
Leaving Janet with Brad (who we all think is gay)
Frank's so erotic, he'd fuck the dead
But, alas, he screws Janet who's just fucked in the head

Then up in the lift after Brand had got cocky
It was time for Frank to unveil his whore-Rocky
When Rocky is born, he wears but a thong
And Frank feels the need to sing him a song

Then just when everyone feels like a winner
Out of the freezer comes Eddie-their dinner
He dances around and sings about smut
But even he realizes Janet's a slut

He rides around on his bike and acts like a dice
So Frank chops him up with a big huge ice pick
The off he goes, acting all cocky
It's time for him to go and screw Rocky

As this all happens, some guy keeps butting in
A criminologist with a pussy on his chin
Brad and Janet both screw Frank-what's next?!
We find out that Frank likes to smoke after sex

The Janet screws Rocky and Doctor Scott is there
(He's the fucking cripple in the ugly wheelchair)
The Frank gets mad cause Janet's a sinner
And Magenta announces it's time for their Dinner

So they sit down to eat and Frank makes a bad joke
And they know they're eating Eddie, Columbia's bloke
The Frank tells them all that they've just eaten Eddie
And Doc. Scott sings about a circumcised teddy

The Frank gets mad and he slaps Janet
The freezes them all into statues-like granite
And he dresses them up like the singers from KISS
And we find out that Rocky can't sing worth piss

So they dance and sing and have loads of fun
Until Riff busts in with a fake laser gun
Frank sings a song to get them to go
And Magenta is wearing her hair in a 'fro

Columbia screams and gets shot in the tit
Frank climbs the curtain trying to exit
But gets shot in the back in a sad sort of way
And Rocky cues music that sounds really gay

Then Frank climbs a big tower (the RKO one)
And it's back in the pool for a little more fun
Magenta blames Riff and he gets really mean
(Just pissed cause his hair was done at Dairy Queen)

He tells Brad and Janet to leave right away
Then he house lifts up and flies far away
They all crawl around where the house once sat
And Janet acts out here favorite scene from CATS

The whole screen starts to spin around and around
And the criminologist tries to say something profound:
And crawling on the planet's face
Some insects called the human race
Lost in time and lost in space
And meaning

Then the screen goes all black but the globe is still on
And again we hear the double feature song