Double Feature

Dr.X will build a creature,

See androids fighting,

Brad and Janet,

Ann Francis stars in Forbidden Planet,

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

At the late night, double feature picture show.

I wanna go oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh,

To the late night, double feature picture show,

by RKO oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh

At the late night double feature picture show,

In the back row oh oh,

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

To the late night double feature picture show.

{Magenta closes her eyes and the scene fades out}

{On the screen, the words 4 1/2yrs later appear in blood dripped letters}

Magenta: Mother, I don't want to go with Prince Furter!

{She is holding a small bag, and Riff's hand too, their mother looks flustered}

{Mother gently pushes them out into a corridor like one which could be found in an Earth Hotel, except it's painted black with lightning strikes}

Mother: 313, go!

{Riff and Magenta run up the corridor, Mother goes back into her room}

Scene2

{Inside room 313, Frank N Furter, aged 2, wearing a tiny sequened corset, baby fishnets, huge beads that he wears like a sash because they are so big, his mother's highheels, also far to big and a big white nappy}

Frank: Where are they? Where are they???

Guard: They'll be here soon, your highness.Have Patience.

{Riff and Magenta suddenly burst in, breathless from running}

Frank: It's about time, Freaky.

Riff Raff: My name is Riff Raff!

Frank: Shut up, Freaky.

{They all do so}

Magenta: What do these all do? {She points at the levers on the shower}

{The Guard leaves, ignoring Frank, Magenta hangs her bag absently on one of the levers, smoke pours from the Transducer, the dials begin to turn}

Frank: Switch it off! {He frantically nods his head at it, hoping that it would do it for him, after all, his servants at the Royal Palace always responded to the nod of a head}

Riff Raff: How???

Magenta: HELP!!!!

Frank: {Bratty screeching} Off! Off! Off! Off!!!!

Riff Raff: We're disappearing ... Magenta, look!

Magenta: Aaaargh! My stomach should be there!

{Magenta disappears first, Then Frank and then Riff, after they're gone, The Guard comes back.}

Guard: Children? Did you ... oh shit.

Scene3

{The three transilvanians appear in the Denton Orphanage, it is an open day, and no one seems to have noticed their mysterious arrival}

Frank: Mother!!!!

Riff Raff: Remember the training! Be like earth children!

Magenta:How?

{An official looking woman walks up to them, she looks them over}

{They are all dressed in cute little costumes, Frank is dressed up like a teddy bear, and placed in what can onlybe described as a habitat,with huge stuffed animals in it, Magenta is dressed like a French Maid, and she's placed in a scullery type habitat, Riff Raff is dressed as a flower, he's in a garden habitat}

Frank: I want this off!!!

Magenta:{her habitat is next door, through the wall} Shut up, this seems important somehow.

{A young couple walk to the outside of Frank's habitat/showcase thing, they look at him for a while}

Woman: Oh, Georgie, let's get this one!

Georgie: Yes, why not, Ellen? I like teddy bears!

Frank: What? Who? Where? When?... What do you think you're doing?

{Next Door, Magenta has fallen asleep on the floor, a couple with a little girl beside them are looking at her}

Woman2: Columbia...darling, would you like this to be your new sister?

Man: Yes darling, {looks at little girl} would you?

Columbia:Yes.

{No one has payed any attention to Riff Raff yet, until a strict looking elderly couple spot him.}

OldWoman: Oh, Jimmy look at that!

Jimmy: We don't want no pansie! Hehehee! Pansie, get it, Elsie?

Riff Raff: I'm a Daffodil.

{The scene cuts to Columbia, Magenta, and Columbia's parents arriving at Columbia's house}

Magenta: Where am I???

Columbia: At my house!

Magenta: I gathered that, but what town???

Columbia: Erm ... Denton.

Magenta: Oh.

{Riff Raff is in a big house, with ancient furniture, and he's wearing clothes from the 20s}

{Scene goes to the mall, Magenta, Montana, Kentucky and Columbia are there}

{The scene goes back to Frank, Georgie and Ellen. Frank is wearing a huge shirt, which is trailing behind him, and a pair of Ellen's old red heels.}

Frank: I want lip gloss! And eyeshadow!!!

Georgie: Er ... yes, Prince but we're looking for clothes ...

Frank: That's a pretty dress {points to a shop window}

{The next day, Frank, Magenta, Columbia and Riff Raff are all sent toDenton Day~Care, Brad Majors, Janet Weiss are there, outside the Day~care, with their parents. There is a big sign sayingDenton Day~Care across it, Emily Weiss runs the Day~Care, she is talking to Brad's parents}

Emily: Hi there, I'm Emily Weiss, hi Brad! Are you excited today?

{Brad's sucking his thumb and holding his mother's hand, he shyly nods}

{Suddenly a motor bike with a leather clad woman riding it pulls up, she dumps a Biker-Baby on the ground and speeds off again, the toddler is wearing sunglasses, a nappy, a leather jacket and cowboy boots, he's holding a battered old teddy}

Emily: Well, you must be little Eddie, right?

{Camera shifts to Janet, who is sitting under a desk, playing with her dolly, Brad crawls under, beside her}

Brad: Hi Janet.

Janet: Get lost Brad!

{Camera goes to Frank who runs to the bathroom with a big bundle in his arms, back to Brad and Janet}

"I'd do anything"

Brad: I'd do anything, for you Jan, anything,yes I'd do for you.

{They get up from under the desk and walk for a few seconds, the rest of the class follow them}

{Everyone poses as the song finishes, Magenta slides infront of every one, on one knee}

{Suddenly a bell rings and all the children look up and leave, Columbia looking slightly battered}

{The scene shifts to a Victorian style bedroom, Riff is sitting on a four-poster bed, looking at a clock. The time is 6:30pm}

{the scene goes to Magenta and Columbia, who are playing with a big Alsation dog in the street, it is apparently Columbia's}

Columbia: Her name's Roxie ... she'll be having lots of baby doggies soon.

Magenta: How many?

Columbia: At least three.

Magenta: Let's go somewhere.

Columbia: Let's go to the park! You can ride my bike, I'm taking my scooter.

{the scene goes to Columbia's back yard, where Magenta is looking over a BMX stunt bike, and Columbia is proudly showing off a pink glittery scooter with streamers hanging from the handle bars and a flag on the back. Strapped to the very front there is a big boom box, playing rock music.}

Columbia: Eddie likes rock music.

Magenta: Uh huh ...

{Magenta experiments with riding the bike, and is delighted to find that it is pretty easy.}

Columbia: Let's go!

{The scene goes to Frank, who is once again dressed like a proper little boy, and he appears to be writing on the wall of the living room. You can't see what he is writing}

Frank: Let's see ... um ...

{The camera zooms out and we see he is writing "Georgie is a Slut" on the wall in red lipstick, Georgie and Ellen enter}

Georgie: {stops and looks}

Ellen: Oh, Frankie honey, that's a no no ...

Frank: Goo?

Georgie: THAT IS IT!!! GO to YOUR room young MAN!!!

Frank: {bursts into tears at being called a man}

Ellen: Oh, Georgie, he's only two! This can be expected!

{Scene goes to Magenta and Columbia, who are now at the park, Magenta is pushing Columbia on a swing, Eddie is surrounded by a big group of people around the round-a-bout, including Brad, Janet, Betty Munroe and Ralf Hapshatt}

{scene ends, goes to next morning, outside day care. Frank is once again dressed like a proper little boy, Riff is in clothes from the 20s again, Magenta is wearing denim cut-offs and a baggy tye-dyed T-shirt and Columbia is wearing the same outfit she wore to the orphanage. They all go in.}

{Once inside, the camera follows Frank, he walks right to a big rack on wheels, it has costumes hanging from it, Magenta and Columbia stand and watch him, while Riff Absently pulls a policeman's outfit from the rack, and heads for the bathrooms to change out of his Victorian Attire}

Magenta: What do you suppose he's doing in there?

Columbia: Dunno. Let's see if we can bury Brad alive in the sandbox.

Magenta: Sounds good to me, oh Brad???

{Riff Returns, wearing the shirt and trousers from the policeman's outfit, but he does not have the rest with him. Suddenly Frank's head appears from within the curtain of clothes on the rack, he's wearing make-up and he's looking around suspiciously. Suddenly he begins to walk, dragging the entire rack with him.

Eddie suddenly grabs the rack and Frank walks straight out of it without noticing at first. There is a class wide "Gasp!!!" Frank leaps on a table. He's in full drag}

{in the sandbox, there is a Brad-like screech as Magenta fills his nose and mouth with sand}

Riff: This is going to be a long year.

{The scene goes to Riff, who is standing in his bedroom, in Victorian pyjamas}

Riff: Cholera. Bloody Cholera.

{he picks up and ancient looking wooder toy train, he throws it away}

{the scene goes to Brad's house, he and Janet are sitting uncomfortably on either side of Brad's bed}

MrsMajors: {from downstairs} Are you and Janet having fun???

Brad: Yes Mommy.

MrsMajors: Do you want milk and cookies???

{Janet goes to the cupboard and helps Brad topull out a huge play-mat with roads marked out on it, Brad tips a box of cars everywhere, just as his mother comes in with a tray of milk and cookies.}

{the scene goes to the next day at Denton Day~Care, everyone is standing outside the day~care, a bus pulls up, they all have bags with them, Emily Weiss starts to board the kids, Georgie and Ellen are there, Ellen looks proud, Georgie looks pissed.}

Ellen: There goes our litte angel.

Georgie: I can see angels ... it's fuckin' miracle ...

Ellen: Georgie, darling, give me the car keys ...

{the scene goes to inside the bus, Eddie and Janet sit together, Frank sits next to Brad, behind them, Riff sits all by himself up at the very back and Magenta and Columbia sit together}

Brad: Mrs Weiss, Frank is touching meee!!!

Frank: I most certainly am not!!! {he looks down at Brad's groin}

Emily: Frank., would you like to sit next to me?

Frank: No, you smell all funny and your hair is strange.

Brad: I think I'll risk sitting with Frank, thanks.

Emily: Well, really, I think children these days are ... {she's drowned out by the engine on the bus starting}

Frank: Sooo, d'you like swimming?

Brad: No, I hate it. I'm only going because Janet is.

Frank: Really?!!! Hmph. {folds his arms in the huff and looks out the window, he's wearing make up again, but he's wearing trousers, but they are leather and skin tight and a skin tight pink top with "Babe" written across it}

Brad: What do you suppose he's saying to her? {referring to Eddie, who is whispering in Janet's ear}

Frank: He's probably saying mean stuff about you.

Brad: Oh no!!!

Frank: Oh, yes, Brad!!!

{the scene cuts to Riff Raff, who is humming some sort of tune, which is actually his verse in the time-warp, he stops, and scowls in Magenta's direction}

{the scene goes to Magenta and Columbia, who are amking up some sort of strange dance}

Columbia: Then ... a ...

Magenta: Pelvic thrust?

Columbia: It's {sings} insaaane, but ok.

Magenta: Jump to the left ...

Columbia: Step to the right ...

Magenta: Hands on hips ...

Columbia: Knees in tight ...

Magenta: A pelvic thrust!!!

Columbia: Perfect!!!

{the scene goes to unisex swimming pool changing rooms, Janet goes into the first cubicle she sees, Brad takes the one next to hers, then Eddie, Magenta and Columbia. Frank is more choosy about his changing room, and he screws up his nose at every single one. He eventually picks one away from everyone else. Riff is too late, and doesn't get a changing room at all, so he has to change bewhind a towel, into Victorian swimwear}

{The scene then shows some of the kids lining up for the flumes, Frank is first, then Brad, then Janet, the rest are all in the larger pool having a splash fight, which you can hear in the background}

Frank: Oohh, my turn, see you Brad ... {winks at Brad}

{Frank slides down the flume, but stops himself halfway, and turns over, lying in wait, suddenly Brad slides down, and Frank stops him with his legs. Frank leans as if to kiss Brad, but Janet suddenly flies down the flume, sending both Frank and Brad on their way in a big tangle of arms, legs and lips (frank). They land at the bottom with an almight splash, Frank falls out of the end, and lands up sitting on the ground looking disgruntled, and Janet lands ontop of Brad, in a compromising position. Frank is not happy}

{the scene goes to Riff, who is sticking one toe into the water}

Columbia: Aw, c'mon ... jump in you sad excuse for a chicken!!!

Riff Raff: What did you just call me?

Columbia: A sad excuse for a chicken!!!

{Magenta pushes Riff in from behind}

Columbia: Ha! A sad, wet excuse for a chicken!!!

{suddenly there is a girly scream, everyone looks at Janet, but she is fine, Brad is drowning in the deep end}

{Frank leaps in as if to save him, but really just wants to be near Brad, he also starts to drown, Riff Raff is drowning in the shallow end}

Magenta: Stand up Riff Raff.

{Riff stands up looking sheepish, while several life guards go to rescue the drowning Frank and Brad}

Emily: Is everyone alright? Brad, are you okay?

Brad: I'm ... fine {chokes and coughs up water} Mrs ... Weiss ... eurgh ..

Frank: I'm fine too!!! {Frank says this cheerfully, in this entire ordeal, not ever Frank's make up has run}

Emily: Perhaps we'd better go.

{the scene goes to The Day~care the next day, where everyone is going about their own business happily}

Frank: I feel like... oh no ...

Magenta: What is it?

Frank: I just GOTTA put on make up!!! I can't take any more of this ...

Magenta: No, Frank, please ... we talked about this.

Frank: {runs away and puts on his old Transilvanian outfit, then jumps ontop of a nearby chair}

Don't Tell Momma